The Burn Explained!

Dear fellow burners.

My life simply put is made up of a series of ‘burns’ and ‘anti-burns.’ I can safely say, without fear of contradiction, that while on a day-to-day basis I experience many ‘burns’, my life as a whole is one big ANTI-BURN! Lets explain ‘the burn’ and the way in which it is applied. Give it some context because it’ll be used many times in future posts and without apology. ‘A burn’ simply put refers to anything in which luck does NOT go your way. Being taken advantage knowingly and willingly. 'Burns' are often pre-determined. Predictions gone wrong. A lack of judgment. Lets give some concrete examples to clarify.

The burn is: Being inches late for the subway car in mid-summer.  Arriving at a concert without your ticket in hand. Arriving the day before or after the sale. Being caught in a torrential downfall. Shrinking all your shirts. Forgetting your card behind the bar; Mistakenly asking a portly women when the babies due; Garreth Cliff; The Jersey Shore cast...

Conversely an anti-burn is a bit of luck. Something that goes well for you, or works out. Sometimes when you least expect it – These are often the best anti-burns.

An anti-burn is: A discount; anything free; a great vacation; discovery of a good series or an unknown band; a beautiful girl; New York City; Cape Town; The Moma; Central Park on a sunny day; Tshabalala’s power driver in the opening game of the World Cup. A hole in one.

Often burns and anti-burns are dependent on perspective. For instance, the phrase “I’m pregnant” can be both ‘a burn’ and ‘anti-burn’ depending on where you are in life.

So there it is. Perhaps it could have been put a bit more eloquently. But it makes sense to me and that’s what counts in the end.

Hopefully this blog will serve as an anti-burn more often then not although I cannot guarantee this because as the wise and brave Isaac (f^ckin) Newton once said (and I’m paraphrasing) ‘for every burn there is an equal and opposite anti-burn’.

Burn you later.